TPOVs @F-L-O-W
Compassion
For years, most of my life,
I never
agreed much with the dalai-lama-like compassion issues, I was
exactly like this… @BS
QUOTATION OF THE DAY
"You tried to create for all of
us a world as dark and evil as your own. But remember it
always: You failed."
MARK E. KELLY, the husband of former Representative
Gabrielle Giffords, at the sentencing of Jared L. Loughran,
who killed six people and wounded 13 others, including Ms.
Giffords, in a 2011 shooting rampage.
What I realized over the past
decade is that these people are not inherently evil. Some
might be @F-L-O-W, but MOST are not. Their hardwiring has
failed, and reality is distorted. We do not know what goes on
in the minds of others, and how many things have to go right
in order for people to do right…
We are too quick to blame, and we
are too quick to take credit @BS…
When you really get that we are
riders on elephants, not all elephants, or riders are created
alike and can be expected to act "normal", there is no such
thing.
I am not disappointed with the
sentence, because people too far outside the norms have to
live in "structured" environments. But when you look back (I
bet you a dime to a donut), the beliefs @BS allowed this person
to go unrecognized by the system as a person in need of
"structure."
AND THAT is the problem with people
@BS…
Learning to recognize the need for structure quickly, apply
it, and then allow the person to behave out of it, is the key; NOT the other
way around, unless you want to sacrifice a lot of innocent people.
I know I will take flak for this,
but so be it. We can recognize in children the need for
structured behavior; and because we are sympathetic (NOT
COMPASSIONATE), we make excuses and worst of all, we pretend
and give them increasing levels of freedom, and benefit of the
doubt; because of the illusion that we can learn our way out
of bad, or aberrant behavior.
Helpful Hint: People need to earn their freedom
by demonstrating that they can be both held accountable and
are responsible for their behavior, and if they prove
incapable of handling the amount of freedom they are given,
then changing the degrees of freedom is almost always a good
bet for all. And that is compassionate.
Action Step: Study Oncken’s Levels of Freedom HERE and
apply it to others, you will be glad you did, and so will the
innocents.
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You, Me, and We @F-L-O-W
Mike R. Jay is a developmentalist utilizing
consulting, coaching, mentoring and advising as methods to offer
developmental scaffolding for aspiring leaders who are interested in
being, doing, having, becoming, and contributing… to helping people
have lives.
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