Instead of going upstream to
emotional intelligence, or what many have co-opted for
self-control issues, the greatest way in which to teach people
how to behave is through self-knowledge —

more specifically
what they notice, and how they regulate what they recognize."

In all the work I’ve done with
Emotional Intelligence since it became fashionable in the
late 80s and early 90s, the biggest TPOV I have come across,
which few in the industry even notice, is the set of concepts
in psychology regarding recognition and regulation.

This TPOV is really simple, it’s
just not easy.

Recognition is a key construct of
establishing a system of noticing, and recognizing that
unconsciously our systems are wired for noticing what we
notice, and to notice that
—> what we are wired for noticing,
for filtering and creating biases.

The goal in regulation is to
understand that what we notice becomes a potential for
regulation, again based on our inbornness, biases and
filters.

Example:

We accept this notion as we realize
it’s part of who we are and what is wired into us as a bias,
filter or striving.

Yet, because we know this, we may
let some of the urge, or tension around this set of conditions
find their way without us, just to notice how we learn about
our own regulation.

I think and feel that as this cycle
of recognition and regulation becomes less subject and more
object, that we relax our notions about the striving, and
allow what is a perfectly natural bias, to go through us
without evoking the consequences that unfettered process
continue as subject.

Helpful Hint:
Recognition and Regulation are
natural processes of living, or aliveness.  They are
occurring even as you read this TPOV, a thousand times a
second, your system of R&R functioning to protect, grow, and
develop you on the fly.  

Getting involved with this process is
easy and requires no purchases of any kind.  Yet, this process
is probably the highest leverage developmental tool available.

Action Step:
STOP.  Think about what is
going on right now, when I say stop.  Do you see the
process working, are you trying to notice what you were
recognizing and what was happening as a result?  This
process of noticing is a meditation in @F-L-O-W.  

Becoming the
observer of what you are doing is a process that can teach you
about yourself, your biases, your noticing, and your journey. 
It’s interesting that all we are making up about what we are
doing, is nothing more than striving, using what is a natural
process of just unconscious noticing, and what flows from
that.