People may be afraid of this number? Did you ever
wonder why there is no FLOOR 13 on the elevator in
hotels? Fear of the number 13 is termed triskaidekaphobia.
Often people take special care not to conduct any
celebrations on a 13th. Could there really be a
13th Element AS important as this?

In my early thinking about the 12 elements, they
sort of materialized and there is probably some
auspicious reason why 12 is an important number,
and 13 might be troublesome.  However in this case,
I think Acceptance, or the Acceptance Process is
clearly required in the periodic chart that is
emerging…  And there is probably no other element
that would serve in the 13th slot as this one.

Succinctly, acceptance and the process of
accepting is as critical to all the other elements
as it is to FLOW. I’d like the take the onus off
FLAWLESS LIVING sometimes and think about

FLOW, and nothing is more
important to

FLOW, the Design of FLOW, or
the emergence of

FLOW as acceptance.

Definition of ACCEPTANCE
[From www.m-w.com]

Examples of

ACCEPTANCE

First Known Use of

ACCEPTANCE –

1574

——————————————-

It’s clear to me that we have to build on this
idea of acceptance for use in

FLOW.

I’ll frame it best as I can.

Acceptance is a belief that we are who we are for
a lot of reasons, most of those are out of our
control, and while it’s important to be held
accountable for our actions, and to be responsible
for our behavior in a civilized world, the ideas
of acceptance are

EES when we can value
ourselves and others without flaws, but with
contingencies that lead to consequences we may not
like, or which are not in our view,

EES… yet, we as well as
others can be valued.

I have
to say that acceptance doesn’t mean we value others equally.  That, to me,
would be a mistake and unrealistic. However, acceptance allows us to look
through the personalization that often occurs surrounding behaviors which in
a lot of cases, are simply out of our control.  While emerging from the
combinatorial effects of who we are, in relation to our environments over
time —> meaning we will do a lot of stupid, ugly,
and bad things at times, there is goodness in our
acceptance of ourselves and others
unconditionally.

This doesn’t give us the right to claim we are
above laws, regulations, ethics, or norms, but to
realize that will and when it occurs, needs to be
seen through a lens of acceptance, in a system
that values people unconditionally.

At the root, this means we must change everything
about how we have been conditioned to think, even
in cases where our own intuition shows us that
people, in our eyes are wrong, crimminal, or evil.
To value them unconditionally, means that we look
towards causal loops differently and try to begin
to understand that, in most cases, free will is
not something that should have prevented us from
acting; or choice allowed us the right decision;
or even in cases, which are most difficult to
understand, to view the pugnacity of man as
something that is a part of some of us, and all of
us as a result.

For me, I’ve struggled the most with all of this.
Beginning with myself and my seemingly ability to
do anything… But in a lot of cases, couldn’t
change who I was under load… I, like you, will
run home to mama, the girl who brung us, or our
center of gravity, as ways of colloquially
creating metaphors.

The acceptance process is depicted by me through a
model of engagement —> acceptance being the
emergent outcome… And of course a continuum that
will look and feel different to all of us.

I’ve put the model of engagement, or the
acceptance process here:

https://www.leadu.com/newsletters/tpovs/acceptance/engagement/

Sometimes, it’s easier to see what someone means
when there is a visual diagram.

The acceptance process or the emergent level of
acceptance each of us can achieve is due to
several factors: one which is inborn and the
others which can be learned over time.  At least
that is what I think is happening to me, someone,
who on the Reiss Profile is very LOW Acceptance.
You can seek the definitions of acceptance
“motivation” from there.

In my view, acceptance is liberty. 
However it
won’t feel that way and many of you will think
that accepting yourself and others unconditionally
is not good, right, or true. You may be right,
however I have found that anything that promotes
the model of engagement towards acceptance of
yourselves and others unconditionally is going to
move you in a path closer to FLOW.

ONCE, we gain acceptance, we automatically limit
our pretending around what we can do and won’t,
and who we are and who we aren’t.

AT that point of demarkation, we can be in service
to our Design for FLOW, which can only be
optimized with the continuum of acceptance, fully
known.

At first, it’s difficult.

BS says we should compare ourselves to others,
follow all the rules, and be good citizens. It’s
similar in

FLOW.  However, the mechanisms
are different. By accepting ourselves and others,
our focus is more on the system of causal loops,
and stocks and flows, and what happens when events
collude to trigger issues of non-acceptance.

Surrender is a difficult thing for most, and until
you are able to do so, you won’t design as

EES as you can, or we can
together. You won’t be able to access deeper
levels of self-knowledge.  Happiness, which is
already present, but unrealized will become
fleeting.  You’ll worry about whether your “ladder
is against the right wall”.  Yes, and no
decisions will be sub-optimal.  Getting
feedback will be limited. Reaching out will be vague. 
You will continue to pretend, preventing success
by design.  Your scoreboard will keep score on
things and values that don’t matter.  You won’t
recalibrate enough, and you’ll forget the
importance of cultural scaffolding and what it’s
potential is for and against you in the acceptance
process.

The 13th Element, or the overriding reason

FLOW is an optimal strategy
for complex conditions…?

I’ll let you decide, but before I
let you go out of here with this information,
here’s a big disclaimer, or WARNING:

If you
start to think and feel differently, all those
things in your old paradigm may begin to give
way… And people, IMHO, need to be prepared for
losses, changes, and differences that are going to
take place; both in the transition and in the
engagement of FLOW…

FRANKLY, some people
aren’t going to go… And that means you are now
pressed with what seems a choice, but more than
likely a bifuration in your maturation
trajectory…

And you will grow apart from
that which was a part of you…  In the old
paradigm, in the old beliefs, in the system
before…

These losses can mount up
quickly, scaffolding is necessary… And
required…

Some people will cling to BS as
it serves them better in the illusion “they” have
created and mastered, as victims, as flawed
people, as people who will NEVER be good enough,
no matter what they do… And that is part and
parcel of the acceptance process as well…

Helpful Hint:
Acceptance begins with a simple knowing: ‘I’m ok,
you’re ok… we are just different.”

Action Step:
This
might seem difficult, but start here – what can you
let go of. The next time you feel yourself really
embroiled in something that has triggered you…
And almost always in the beginning, this will be
in reflection, rather than real-time…  Just
simply see it as a butterfly on your hand, and let
it go… See it fly away. Might sound mushy and
touchy-feely coming from a hard-nosed former
marine… But I have found that word pictures can
help us “anchor” on a simple concept. The
butterfly, in order to change, grow, develop and
fly, simply has to “let go” of what is holding it
from it’s next journey, whether it be metamorphis,
or it’s next hurricane…. <G>