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Ok, I'll use your statement as an example.
You could potentially eliminate the
requirement that the things you do be designed
for others to like you. Doesn't seem necessary
if you focus on doing things so that you think
others like you. A little more elegant that
way.
If you knew the person was inborn with
self-doubt, just for instance, like people
with tranquility: you can tell a person with
high tranquility needs to NOT worry (I find
myself doing this--offering this strategy
often because I am motivated to the opposite
pole, so I don't have ulcer, but I am
carrier!)...
It doesn't do any good and annoys the pig!
(remember the pig singing story?)...
Yes, this is key, you know that this strategy
works, but it's NOT duplicable and violates
Argyris 4 critieria that I have posted from
time to time about giving actionable
advice....
This "syndrome" is where the 1-5% came from.
About 1-5% of the advice we give is actionable
UNLESS we are dealing with that 1-5%--which
often happens through BIAS selection anyway,
so it appears as if we are very smart, as all
the advice seems to work...
YET @BS this assumes we are all the same
because of our own projection of sameness in
BIAS.
Helpful Hint: It might be
elegant, but it's not actionable, because the
statement fails to recognize that low
acceptance (high tranquility
example)...continuously generates well-being
around self-doubt.
Action Step: So LOGICALLY
(would it be any other way from an
INTJ?:)...this makes sense, however, MOST of
it assumes too things for it to be actionable:
1) Volition @BS (that one can will themselves
and 1-5% can, so it's partially true, using
the same above disclaimers)...
2) Capability exists to hold the person's own
motives as object--this requires VERY complex
capability btw, as only perhaps 1-5% of people
are going to ever cross over into
metasystematic reasoning of any density and
frequency...
Both of these are in short supply in the human
race, and thus, while it might work for you,
and it's good to say what works for us, but it
needs to be couched in that way, or dignity is
lost, because (OMG) the person feels bad that
they can't make your advice actionable and
because it doesn't work for them, you have
just setup the potential to create more
problems than you solved with the advice!
This was Argyris point about Covey in Flawed
Advice and the Management Trap (2000) I
believe.
Hope this example helps, as opening up these
statements help us all to understand @F-L-O-W,
what might be additional precursors to our
advice-giving, or perhaps not giving advice
@F-L-O-W, which is almost a death knell for
some of us;) |
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