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"People maybe afraid of this number? Did you ever wonder why
there is no FLOOR 13 on the elevator in hotels? Fear of the
number 13 is termed triskaidekaphobia. Often
people take special care not to conduct any celebrations on a
13th. Could there really be a 13th Element AS important as
this?
In my early thinking about the 12 elements, they sort of
materialized and there is probably some auspicious reason why
12 is an important number, and 13 might be troublesome,
however in this case, I think Acceptance, or the Acceptance
Process is clearly required in the periodic chart that is
emerging... And there is probably no other element that would
serve in the 13th slot as this one.
Succinctly, acceptance and the process of accepting is as
critical to all the other elements as it is to FLOW. I'd like
the take the onus off FLAWLESS LIVING sometimes and think
about FLOW, and nothing is more important to
FLOW, the Design
of FLOW, or the emergence of
FLOW as acceptance.
"Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she
has lovable traits,
but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human. -
Albert Ellis
Definition of ACCEPTANCE
[From www.m-w.com ]
1: an
agreeing either expressly or by conduct to the act or offer of
another so that a contract is concluded and the parties become
legally bound
2: the
quality or state of being accepted or acceptable
3: the
act of accepting : the
fact of being accepted : approval
4a: the
act of accepting a time draft or bill of exchange for payment
when due according to the specified terms b: an
accepted draft or bill of exchange
Examples of ACCEPTANCE
-
her acceptance into
the club
-
The university has sent me a letter of acceptance.
-
He delivered an acceptance
speech after
he was chosen as the party's presidential nominee.
First Known Use of ACCEPTANCE
1574
-------------------------------------------
It's clear to me that we have to build on this idea of
acceptance for use in
FLOW.
I'll frame it best as I can.
Acceptance is a belief that we are who we are for a lot of
reasons, most of those are out of our control, and while it's
important to be held accountable for our actions, and to be
responsible for our behavior in a civilized world, the ideas
of acceptance are
EES when we can value ourselves and others
without flaws, but with contingencies that lead to
consequences we may not like, or which are not in our view,
EES... yet, we as well as others can be valued.
I have to say that acceptance doesn't mean we value others
equally, that to me, would be a mistake and unrealistic.
However, acceptance allows us to look through the
personalization that often occurs surrounding behaviors which
in a lot of cases, are simply out of our control, and while
emerge from the combinatorial effects of who we are, in
relation to our environments over time-->meaning we will do a
lot of stupid, ugly and bad things at times, there is goodness
in our acceptance of ourselves and others unconditionally.
This doesn't give us the right to claim we are above laws,
regulations, ethics, or norms, but to realize that will and
when it occurs, needs to be seen through a lens of acceptance,
in a system that values people unconditionally.
At the root, this means we must change everything about how we
have been conditioned to think, even in cases where our own
intuition shows us that people, in our eyes are wrong,
crimminal, or evil. To value them unconditionally, means that
we look towards causal loops differently and try to begin to
understand, that in most cases, free will is not something
that should have prevented us from acting, or choice allowed
us the right decision, or even in cases, which are most
difficult to understand, to view the pugnacity of man as
something that is a part of some of us, and all of us as a
result.
For me, I've struggled the most with all of this. Beginning
with myself and my seemingly ability to do anything... But in a
lot of cases, couldn't change who I was under load... I, like
you, will run home to mama, the girl who brung us, or our
center of gravity, as ways of colloquially creating metaphors.
The acceptance process is depicted by me through a model of
engagement-->acceptance being the emergent outcome... And of
course a continuum that will look and feel different to all of
us.
I've put the model of engagement, or the acceptance process
here:
http://www.f-l-o-w.info/TPOV/a/acceptance/engagement/
Sometimes, it's easier to see what someone means when there is
a visual diagram.
The acceptance process or the emergent level of acceptance
each of us can achieve is due to several factors, one in which
is inborn and the others which can be learned over time, at
least that is what i think is happening to me, someone, who on
the Reiss Profile is very LOW Acceptance. You can seek the
definitions of acceptance "motivation" from there.
In my view, acceptance is liberty, however it won't feel that
way and many of you will think that accepting yourself and
others unconditionally is not good, right or true. You may be
right, however I have found that anything that promotes the
model of engagement towards acceptance of yourselves and other
unconditionally is going to move you in a path closer to FLOW.
ONCE, we gain acceptance, we automatically limit our
pretending around what we can do and won't, and who we are and
who we aren't.
AT that point of demarkation, we can be in service to our
Design for FLOW, which can only be optimized with the
continuum of acceptance, fully known.
At first, it's difficult.
BS says we should compare ourselves to others, follow all the
rules and be good citizens. It's similar in
FLOW, however the
mechanisms are different. By accepting ourselves and others,
our focus is more on the system of causal loops, and stocks
and flows, and what happens when events collude to trigger
issues of non-acceptance.
Surrender is a difficult thing for most, and until you are
able to do so, you won't design as
EES as you can, or we can
together. You won't be able to access deeper levels of
self-knowledge, happiness which is already present, but
unrealized will become fleeting, you'll worry about whether
your "ladder is against the right wall" and yes, and no
decisions will be sub-optimal, getting feedback will be
limited, reaching out will be vague, and you will continue to
pretend, preventing success by design; your scoreboard will
keep score on things and values that don't matter, you won't
recalibrate enough, and you'll forget the importance of
cultural scaffolding and what it's potential is for and
against you in the acceptance process.
The 13th Element, or the overriding reason
FLOW is an optimal
strategy for complex conditions...?
I'll let you decide, but before I let you go out of here with
this information, here's a big disclaimer, or WARNING:
If you start to think and feel differently, all those things
in your old paradigm may begin to give way... And people IMHO
need to be prepared for losses, changes, and differences that
are going to take place, both in the transition and in the
engagement of FLOW...
FRANKLY< some people aren't going to go... And that means you
are now pressed with what seems a choice, but more than likely
a bifuration in your maturation trajectory...
And you will grow apart from that which was a part of you... In
the old paradigm, in the old beliefs, in the system before...
These losses can mount up quickly, scaffolding is
necessary... And required...
Some people will cling to BS as it serves them better in the
illusion "they" have created and mastered, as victims, as
flawed people, as people who will NEVER be good enough, no
matter what they do... And that is part and parcel of the
acceptance process as well...
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